I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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