no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
