Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here

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  (515): Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here http://tfl.nu/owjx
  Replies (12) Good night (4522) Bad night (520)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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  (931): Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person. http://tfl.nu/od1c
  Replies (46) Good night (7012) Bad night (840)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar

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  (513): you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar http://tfl.nu/7jk8
  Replies (21) Good night (6232) Bad night (793)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers

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  (508): but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers http://tfl.nu/9dwx
  Replies (1) Good night (2182) Bad night (832)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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  (864): Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot. http://tfl.nu/kmo6
  Replies (8) Good night (4077) Bad night (742)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.

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  (813): Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point. http://tfl.nu/ezlw
  Replies (14) Good night (2448) Bad night (1077)
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  (415): View more from California

  I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc

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  (415): I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc http://tfl.nu/b6p3
  Replies (12) Good night (589) Bad night (2660)
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  (831): View more from California

  You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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  (831): You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint http://tfl.nu/ergy
  Replies (5) Good night (1525) Bad night (1067)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?

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  (256): Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we? http://tfl.nu/5put
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (410)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.

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  (734): Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke. http://tfl.nu/ywvx
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (645)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.

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  (832): She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me. http://tfl.nu/8d60
  Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (289)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.

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  (208): I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/ctp9
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (255)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans

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  (317): He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans http://tfl.nu/lyo2
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.

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  (406): My vagina needs her own mother sometimes. http://tfl.nu/l820
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (249)
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  (562): View more from California

  The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons

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  (562): The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons http://tfl.nu/bjub
  Replies (0) Good night (305) Bad night (166)

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