it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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