We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND