ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...