I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now