dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
