So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
