He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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