yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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