its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
