is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
