I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
