Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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