Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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