Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
