I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
