i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize