I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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