Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize