Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
