help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ugly people sure do ruin things
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize