just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize