ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
