Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
