my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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