I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
