hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Your dad touched me again.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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