what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
