3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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