Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
