you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
