I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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