I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
