bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
