I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
