How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
