Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
