Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize