I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
