Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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