Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
