just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
