Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
