"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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