Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
