This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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