youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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