belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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