There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
