Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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