3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
