Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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