Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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