But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
