my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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