I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
