the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
