you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize