It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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