What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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