I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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