I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
