absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
