remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
