I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
