Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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