my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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