the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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