Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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